always
by Leaskatniss
Summary: takes place after mockingjay, before the epilogue. This is what happened in my mind between Katniss and Peeta. I suck at making a summary.


**Hi guys. So this is my first hunger games fanfic. And I'm pretty excited to write this, even though I have no idea how this will end up. Sorry if my English isn't very well, but my first language isn't English, but Dutch. **

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It's been 3 weeks. 3 weeks since the war ended. 3 weeks since I'm living in a save world. 3 weeks of barely eating. 3 weeks with me not talking. 3 lonely weeks. 3 weeks of missing my loved ones. 3 weeks without my sister. It's still hard to believe. It's like a never ending nightmare. Ugh, nightmares, I've had too many nightmares the past 3 weeks. And most of the times, the one getting me out of them, is Buttercup. Yeah, that stupid kid of my lovely sister. I didn't want him at first, but he reminded me too much of Prim. He was the only thing that reminded me of her. So I shared my grief with him, since there was no one else to share it with. He doesn't hiss as much as me as he used to. He probably starts to realize it's just me and him from of now. At first he kept searching Prim every single minute of the day. Which ended up with me screaming: 'She isn't here, you stupid cat! She's dead! Gone! Forever! She's never coming back!'.

I haven't heard anything from Haymitch since I got back. I haven't heard anything from my mum since I got back. It's just me. And Greasy Sae when she comes to bring me food, making sure I eat, even if it's just a few bites. I'm thankful for her doing that. But I can't tell her. Not yet. And she understands. Well, that's what I hope.

Sometimes I think about Peeta. When he'll come back here. And if he will come back here. I just hope he'll come back. Because, yes, I miss him, a lot. Not that I would ever admit it to him. But it's true. Whenever I have a nightmare, I hope he's there to wake me up and calm me down. Sadly, it's always Buttercup who wakes me up. Every night, I dream about Peeta holding me, while I drift off to sleep, without having nightmares. But I know I will have to deal with all these nightmares for the rest of my life. Since there's a chance Peeta will never come back. Even if he came back, would he still talk to me? after all I've put him through?

I feel like an awful person. I've lost so many lost once. Yet I'm still alive. I should be the once being dead. Not my precious, innocent, young sister. Last night I even had a nightmare about Prim and Rue coming to me, blaming me for their deaths. And I know it's all my fault. I couldn't save Rue, and then I couldn't save Prim. Two young innocent little girls, who deserved to live a happy life.

I slowly start to drift off to sleep again. All these thought are making me very tired. Especially when I have the same thought, over and over again. I don't think I'll ever get rid of these thoughts. I wish I could get rid of them. Giving me some peace, even if it was for only a few hours.

X-X-X-X-X

"KATNISS, KATNISS HELP ME. KATNISS" Oh no. not again. The crying of my little sister. I run to help her. But the road seems to have no end. I run, and run and run. When suddenly, all my loved ones, who died, because of me, stand in front of me. Including Prim.

"It's your fault we're dead, Katniss." I hear Finnick say. I want to say something back. But for some reason I can't talk. Then suddenly I see Prim, with a gun aiming at me.

"I'm sorry Katniss, but I just have to do this." She says with tears in her eyes. And I know what she means. She's about to kill me. Because I killed them. I see Prim shaking. Not wanting to pull the trigger. And I just hope she does. I deserve it.

"Katniss, Katniss please wake up. Katniss is a nightmare!" wait, who is that? Am I really having a nightmare? But if this is a nightmare, then why can't I wake up?

"Katniss, please wake up, for me. Please!" wait, I recognize that voice. But is it really him. Is it really Peeta? I know I have to wake up to find out. So I try my hardest to get out of this terrible nightmare.

"Come on Katniss. I won't leave until you wake up! I'm serious."

"P-Peeta?" I manage to get out. My first word after not talking for 3 weeks.

"Yes Katniss. It's me Peeta." He says, with his soft, caring voice. And I can hear he's been worrying about me.

"B-but, when did you came back? And how did you get in?"

"I'll tell you everything tomorrow, I promise Kat."

"O-okay." It's really hard to talk after having said nothing for 3 weeks.

"Please go back to sleep Katniss. You need some rest."

"I will." I say, and I see him stand up, ready to get out of my room. No, he can't leave. I don't want to have that nightmare again. "Peeta!" I try to say as hard as I can. I see him stop and turn around.

"What's wrong?" he asks, with concern in his voice.

"W-would you please stay with me?" I ask shyly.

He starts to walk back to me and gets in my bed, wrapping his arm around me. God I missed this so much. Before I drift off to sleep again, I hear him whisper to me.

"Always, Kat. Always."

And all I know. Is that I will finally get some sleep. Since I have the arms of Peeta around me, to protect me.

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**So that's the first chapter. I know it's short. But this just popped up in my head and I wanted to share it with you. So please let me know if I should continue. I promise, that if I continue, the chapters will me longer. So please leave a review. **


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